my eternal battle…

I started another round of Weight Watcher’s today. Actually, I started it last week, but today was the first weigh-in. I’m hoping to have enough motivation this time to stick with it.

Between February and May of last year, I had lost 20 lbs. Between August and November of last year, I gained it back.

I needed to lose more than the 20 lbs. last year, but now I’m back to square one.

I thought that with the added activity that comes with spring and summer, I would have lost some by now, but it’s clear that I really have to count the points in order to really lose anything.

It’s a struggle, it’s depressing and I’m frustrated with myself – but I’m not going to quit quitting. Yes, I feel like this is my “smoking” habit. I’ve never smoked, but I think that trying to lose weight is a lot like trying to kick the habit of smoking. There is just something in your head constantly talking you into eating a little more.

At my heaviest I was 225 lbs. I was also only 21 years old at the time and pregnant. After having Justin, I immediately lost 27 lbs., but stayed at 198 for 3 years. I then lost the rest of the weight in 1990 from divorce-related stress. I went down to what seemed to most to be an unhealthy 124 lbs. Personally, I thought I looked good, but others said I needed to put some weight on. (Hummm…I’m just reading that according to Weight Watchers, 124 lbs. is the minimum healthy weight for my height). I took their advice and put on some weight, but stayed around 140 lbs. for many years (fluctuating up and down about 10 lbs.).

I started having to watch my weight again in 2002 – I had gotten engaged and was up to 174 lbs. I wanted to have nice wedding pictures, so, I went on the Weight Watcher program. I got down to 147 lbs. with following the flex program and going to Curves. It took nearly a year.

I would like to be there again.

Comments

Debbie said…
Well, hang in there. I am in the same boat. Our weightloss contest is over here at work on Friday. I haven't weighed myself at all during the contest. We will see....
Anonymous said…
Hey there. You know there are worse things than being chubby. Try loving yourself just as you are right now and then go from there.
Anonymous said…
I'm there with you.
The battle of the bulge.
It's hard.
But...if you were beautiful AND so talented (as you are)...no other woman would want to be around you!!
Love you any size,
bigger sister

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